Tantrums and how to respond

An amazing article I just read: http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/lauren_lindsey_porter2.html
If you have kids, please take the time to read it through.

I have been having a bit of a rough time with Nyla lately. She has starting throwing what seems like hourly tantrums. I mean every little thing that doesn't go her way, she needs to throw herself on the ground, turn red, and scream at the top of her lungs.

I used to be pretty good at remaining calm throughout them, but lately have found myself loosing it more and more easily. I mean, I'm not being abusive by any means, I just havn't been handling stuff the way I would like to. I end up either walking away and leaving her to finish it out on her own(while sometimes having my own mini tantrum in another room, lol), or yelling her name out in frustration. In the end, what I'm doing is making things worse, and I always feel really bad, and end up apologizing to her afterwards. This isn't good enough for me. She deserves more respect than that. I don't want to be on that constant loop, of oh well, if I screw up, I'll just apologize later.

That article really resonated with me, and I'm going to try to be more like the Mom I want to be.

The neighbour

I am working night shift this weekend, so Darryl took Nyla over to the park to give me some peace and quiet in the house. While he was over there one of our neighbours' little girls was there, and she just loves Nyla, so the two of them had a blast and played for about 2-3 hrs. The girl is probably about 8yrs old, if I had to guess.

So later on we just about finished dinner when I heard a knock at the door. I went to go get it, and it was the girl. She wanted to know if Nyla could come out to play, lol. I told her we were in the middle of dinner, and it wasn't a good time right now, not to mention she's too little to come outside by herself. She didn't really take the hint, and continued on making conversation. A little bit later, Darryl and Nyla came over to talk to her too, at the door, with the door open, and air conditioner running.

Somehow she managed to invite herself in, and was playing with Nyla. I was in a bit of a rush, getting ready for work, and didnt really have any patience at the moment. I really wasn't thrilled that she didn't listen the first time I said not a good time right now. I was desparatly trying to think of a way to get her to leave, without being rude. Finally I asked her if her Mom knew she was here. No, of course not, "yes a way out", I thought! So I told her I don't think her Mom would like it if she was in our house(basically strangers, we don't know them well beyond saying hi when crossing paths), and that she should go. Well, she comes back with, "Ok, I'll be right back, I'll go ask her if I can". Ugh, I think to myself, "Ok, I'm an adult, I can tell her to get out of my house, in a polite way". So I tell her, "No, its really not a good time right now, I think you should go home, or to the park, or wherever it is you're supposed to be". She turned around, and stormed out. I hope she wasn't crying.

Oh well. I'm sure this will be the first of many kids I will have to stand my ground with. Ugh, sometimes being an adult is hard.

Aurora Borealis

I am a member of an online community called thebabywearer.com. It's an awesome forum of Moms coming together to help with parenting advice, sharing of arts and crafts, venting about problems, sharing in the joys of life, and basically any sort of support you might need. It's great for getting an outside perspective on life. Nothing is quite the same as feeling like you're completely alone on an issue, only to find out many many people across the world share your opinion.

Most important of all we are coming together to share our love for keeping our babies close, ie babywearing. I've always found the term babywearing kind of weird to use, but eh oh well. There is a sub-forum there to buy/sell/trade babycarriers, and other used baby items. It can get kinda crazy. I love it though, and have gotten a couple of pretty good deals there myself.

Because this is such an awesome community of Moms, there is ocassionally Moms out there who send their baby carriers out on tour across the world. This gives people the chance to try things out that they may never be able to otherwise. I am so lucky to be able to participate in one of these instances. I have a baby carrier right now, that is a Didymos Chiara, which has been dyed a one of kind dye job using non-toxic dyes. It is so pretty. I wish I could keep it, but atleast I get to try it out for week. The Mom who is sending across Canada, and the US also included a little journal for us to write in, or have our kids draw in, or whatever we feel like. She will be saving this journal, along with the wrap to pass onto her daughter when she has kids. We are also supposed to upload pictures to the site to share what we did with the wrap while it is visiting. Its pretty cool to see it go from one Mom to the next, and get to see some scenery from across north america.

I've only had it 2 days, but here's some pics so far:

This is the morning we got it, I unraveled it, and Nyla instantly wanted to give it some hugs(ignore the laundry in the background, lol).

We had to try it out of course.

And then she had to wrap her baby up

Playing with her BCK's(which is what she call's her ABC's), handsfree, but still holding her baby, lol.

I'm planning on going for a hike in the Rouge Valley later this week, to show off some of the gorgeous scenery Canada has to offer. Not too sure where else to go. I don't think the crack heads of Oshawa have much to offer, lol.

Camping at Emily park

A few weekends ago we went camping at Emily park. I have to say, I don't think I'll be going camping again this year. It was so frustrating. Nyla didn't want to stay at the campsite. It was a constant battle to keep her from running across the street. Many temper tantrums were thrown.

It wasn't all bad though.

Getting ready to go to the beach:

Walking with grandma:

Stomping the sand castles:

Building with Daddy:

The "Adults" playing with Nyla's toys:

Grandma's Hammerhead shark:

Stopped for some ice cream on the way back:

About an hour later, lol:

Grandma playing with her new puppy:

This is what we reluctantly resorted to in order to cook dinner, and sit for a few minutes. Thank-you Grandma for bringing that!!

Reading with Amanda(thanks Amanda!):

Beating the heat

Darryl, Sean, Josh and Cliff redid the garage roof a few weeks ago. It was rediculously hot out, and we couldn't play in the yard, so this is was Nyla did for the day, lol. So simple, and yet she played for hours.

Mmmm Coffee

Nyla tries to steel a sip of coffee whenever she can get a chance.

(There was only less than a sip left)

First pig tails!

Not quite there yet, but cute anyways.

Oh the princesses

Nyla's favourite toys. She loves her princesses.

Berliose

We've had Berliose now for 6yrs. We don't really want him. He is a grump. He hisses constantly at Henry(the other cat), especially when strangers are in the house. He doesn't really like to be pet. He meows to be fed all. the. time. Even if he was just fed 5min ago, he still meows and runs to his food dish. He has asthma.

We've come to a conclusion though...He is part of the family, and just like you can't get rid of grumpy old grandpa, we can't get rid of Berliose. No one else will want him. But he sure is handsome.

Tongue roll

Not sure why, but Nyla has started doing this weird thing when she says certain words. Money is one for instance. Imagine back to french class and the teacher saying to roll your rrrr's. Money has become marrr. Lol, kind of have to hear it I think.

Cloudy day at the park

On our way(check out the pink con's!)...


Found a stick.


Climbing..


About to go back up to go down the slide again.





Help Mommy!!


Lol, not quite big enough yet.

Healthy chocolate pudding does exist!

You won't believe how good this is, and good for you!

* 3 avocados
* 1 cup pure maple syrup
* 1/2 cup plus 2 Tbsp. cocoa
* 2 Tablespoons vanilla extract
* 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
* 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
* Up to 1 1/2 cups water to thin

1. Process all of the ingredients except the water in a food processor. Add water to thin to desired consistency.

2. Great served with sliced strawberries or raspberries.


I got the recipe here.

Babies wearing babies

So, most people know that I use a type of baby carrier called a wrap. It's basically a long piece of fabric that you use to tie the baby to yourself. I have a few now, some in different lengths, different thicknesses(some are more supportive, some are cooler for the summer, etc), some just because I think they are so pretty. These kinds of carriers are way more comfy, and stylish then the typical ones you can buy at Walmart. Not to mention, easier on the developing babies hips, as all the weight is distributed through the legs, instead of baby dangling from his crotch like this. Not to mention much more comfier for me. Trust me, I had a snuggly given to me, and it was like torture.

Nyla is not the kind of baby to be content just sitting there playing with a toy. She has to be up seeing what I'm doing, and helping out. If I'm trying to get something done(like cooking), she'll usually want up to see whats going on. I put her up on my back and explain to her stuff as I'm doing it. She can see over my shoulder. She's content, and I have both my hands. We both win!

I think this is my favourite. It's called Tulipaani, and its made by Girasol. I bought it here. I was pretty lucky, as I got a discount because this one is flawed. You can't see it when wearing it though, but there are red threads running through the yellow on the edging of the wrap.


I can't tell you how useful these things are. I honestly don't know how parents survive without one. I use mine daily, at home, out shopping, going for a walk, making dinner, etc.


This is a storchenweige, Leo Turk. It's probably the most supportive one I have(i.e if I know I'm going to be carrying her for a long time, this one is most comfy). It's also the shortest one I have. I bought this one used from another mom on thebabywearer.com


This was my/Darryls Ellaroo, Seattle. I loved this wrap. I wore her to this comic book convention in toronto for 7hrs straight. She had 2 naps there, and it was super crowded. No way a stroller would have worked for this. Unfortunatly I lost this one at Walmart. I'm still so mad at myself for that. It had a slight stretch to the fabric that made it super comfy.


This is the first real wrap I bought. This is a Vatanai, Koira. This one is nice because its lightweight for the summer, but still pretty supportive. This is Darryls first backwrap!


This is my Gypsy Momma Baby Bali Breeze, Freya. It's not my favourite wrap. Its really lightweight for the summer, but with her weight, its just not comfortable for long stretches, unless I wrap her really carefully.


And here's a few pics of Nyla carrying her baby.. :)

Poor Henry

What are you knitting? A diaper cover. A What??

Not many people that I know in real life are familiar with cloth diapering these days, so I'm going to enlighten you as to how I do it.

There's a few reason's why I chose to cloth diaper. The main reason is I really don't like the chemicals used in disposables to be against Nyla's skin. Sodium polyacrylate(the stuff that is in disposables which absorbs wetness) is the same substance that was removed from tampons in 1985 because of its link to toxic shock syndrome. No studies have been done on the long-term effects of this chemical being in contact with a baby's reproductive organs 24 hours a day for upwards of two years. Disposables give the illusion of baby being dryer for longer, but meanwhile the baby is still sitting in its own waste(plus chemicals) for hours on end. For more chemicals that are in disposables and to learn more, check out this site.

Another reason is the environment. Disposable diapers make up the third largest source of waste in landfills. A baby will typically use around 8000 diapers in their time, which all take approximately 500 years to decompose. That doesn't sit well with me.

And obviously cost is another factor. I've checked out the price of disposables, and whew they are expensive! These are the diapers I bought, and the site I bought them from. I bought 3 dozen premium sized prefolds. So I spent around $130. Then I had to buy covers(small, med, and Nyla is now in Large). I've also bought a wetbag, for bringing home the dirty diapers while out(it's really not that bad once you get used to it), a diaper pail for home(and a liner, so I don't ever have to touch the dirty diapers), a few snappi's, a dozen hemp doublers(for extra absorbancy at night), and I've made a few of my own wool diaper covers. I think in total I've spent no more than $250-300.

So all that aside, look how cute cloth diapers are!!

This is Nyla wearing a wool knit diaper cover.


Wool is great to use at night, as its breathable, so the baby won't get so many rashes as they would with plastic/vinyl covers. I knit this one myself. Wool is meant to be used without extra clothing on top, so I only use these at night.


This is what's under the cover. Its called a prefold. The pink thing is a snappi. It's used in place of pins, and it just has little teeth grippers on each side to hold the diaper on.



When we're just lounging around at home, Nyla frequently just has on a prefold. It lets me know when she's peed, so I can change her right away, and she's not sitting there in her own waste.







This is basically what you need to cloth diaper(I have more that's not in the picture). There's my wetbag, a stack of prefolds, a cover, some washcloths that I use as wipes, and a doubler.


I know alot of people are afraid of the extra work that comes with cloth, but it's really not that bad. Take it from me, I hate cleaning, and chores and all that stuff. Nyla only poops once a day typically. The poop gets shook off, or dunked into the toilet, and then into the pail the diaper goes. Pee just goes straight into the pail. Before the baby starts solids, breastmilk poo, and all can just be thrown in the pail, as it will dissolve and wash away no problem. Covers are reused until stinky or if they get poo on them, in which case they go into the pail with everthing else. About every 3 days a load of diapers gets dumped in the washing machine. Rinse on cold, wash on hot with 1/2 a capful of detergent(one that doesn't have additives or enzymes or whiteners), I use Purex hypoallergenic, and then I do an extra rinse on cold with some vinegar(helps to remove any detergent residue left on the diapers). In the winter I dry them in the dryer, but in the summer I hang them on the clothes line, and the sun gets all the stains out.

Now, I took a modest approach to cloth diaper, and chose cheaper rather than more convenient. But if want to try cloth, but have the ease of a disposable you could always try these. There's a ton of options out there. Ask me if you want to know more.